Less than expected.

     Even though I see myself as ordinary, nothing spectacular, however unique because I live a life of high expectations.  I am not by any means a 'perfectionist', but I do feel that in life we always have to try to be our best to succeed at our dreams and aspirations.  

     This view has been instilled in me since I was young from my parents.  They saw my capabilities and pushed me to be my best.  I wasn't the best overall in anything, and I think my parents unknowingly created a sense of disappointment in me, which is something I still struggle with today.... living up to my parents expectations and not be a disappointment to them.  

     I've found that in my new career that I have become disappointed in the lack of initiative in both my students and co-workers.  I am a fairly positive person, looking for the best in others, and encouraging them to see the best in themselves.  I think that's why I work with teenagers, they are the greatest challenge, but in that I also find the greatest reward when one of them sees the possibilities that are before them.  I find that many are concentrated on the negatives... variables that we don't have much control over.  All of our students lack motivation and work ethic to succeed in regular education.  However in intellect most are at grade level, if not above, so it's not because they can't, it's just because they choose not to that they were chosen to be in this new innovative program.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job.  It is with these types of students that I get my greatest challenges and also my greatest rewards.  But at times it feels as if it's an uphill battle against both the students who are not willing at all and some of the other teachers there who are only concentrating on what the kids can't do, instead of what they can.  They look at problems instead of solutions, and putting the kids down instead of building them up.  

    I expect more out of people than what most give out.  Maybe it's a default and I need to learn how to not let it get to me.  Maybe is a challenge that I've been given to instill in others.  Either way changes need to be made in most people... including myself.  I am learning, and I am trying, and for me that's where I start. Hopefully others will take notice and follow.... and maybe it will lead to something extraordinary.